Came across a presentation on EI - after a long time.
Suddenly realized how relevant it is to all of us - across age groups - especially now when we are so stressed up.
EI - the simple common sense subject can help everyone of us - if only we have the commitment and good sense to practise it.
emotion refers to a state of feeling. It is explained as a conscious mental reaction (as anger or fear) subjectively experienced as a strong feeling usually directed toward a specific object and typically accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes in the body
intelligence refers to the capacity to reason validly available information. It is the capacity for learning, reasoning, understanding, and similar forms of mental activity; aptitude in grasping truths, relationships, facts, meanings, etc.
Both are innate in our self and as well as in others.
The ability to harness them towards desired results is EI.
Emotional Intelligence (EI) describes an ability, capacity, or skill to perceive, assess, and manage the emotions of one's self, of others, and of groups.
It is the innate potential to feel, use, communicate, recognize, remember, describe, identify, learn from, manage, understand and explain emotions.
Put in a "easy to remember" acronym - it is to KUMU your emotions.
Know
Understand
Manage
Use
The first published definition was made by Salovey and Mayer (1990) who defined EI as “the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions”.
This was later revised to "The ability to perceive emotion, integrate emotion to facilitate thought, understand emotions, and to regulate emotions to promote personal growth".
The components are
Perceiving,
Understanding,
Managing and
Using various emotions to achieve intended goals.
DANIEL GOLEMAN is another notable authority on EI.
To him EI is a master aptitude, a capacity that profoundly affects all other abilities, either facilitating or interfering with them.
His model has the following components –
· Self-awareness - the ability to read one's emotions and recognize their impact while using gut feelings to guide decisions.
· Self-management - involves controlling one's emotions and impulses and adapting to changing circumstances.
· Social-awareness - the ability to sense, understand, and react to other's emotions while comprehending social networks.
· Relationship Management - the ability to inspire, influence, and develop others while managing conflict.
There are certain core emotional competencies that are necessary to be an expert in these components.
These emotional competencies are not innate talents, but rather learned capabilities that must be worked on and developed to achieve outstanding performance.
Goleman posits that individuals are born with a general emotional intelligence that determines their potential for learning emotional competencies.
Acquiring emotional competencies is possible only by conscious commitment and regular practice.
Goleman attests that the best remedy for battling our emotional shortcomings is EI – the preventive medicine.
In other words, we need to place as much importance on teaching ourselves and our younger generation the essential skills of Emotional Intelligence as we do on more traditional measures like IQ and GPA.
Goleman adds that the same principles can be applied in our work place, our teams and organizations for maximum prosperity and success.
Goleman states that over 80% our success at work depends on our level of EI.
Put in simple terms, in EI – the primary focus is on the following charactersistics and capabilities.....
1. Self-awareness--knowing your emotions, recognizing feelings as they occur, and discriminating between them
2. Mood management--handling feelings so they're relevant to the current situation and you react appropriately
3. Self-motivation--"gathering up" your feelings and directing yourself towards a goal, despite self-doubt, inertia, and impulsiveness
4. Empathy--recognizing feelings in others and tuning into their verbal and nonverbal cues
5. Managing relationships--handling interpersonal interaction, conflict resolution, and negotiations
WHY EI ?
Researchers have concluded that
- in brain-based learning, emotional health is fundamental to effective learning,
- the most critical element for a student's success in school is an understanding of how to learn,
- a student who learns to learn is much more apt to succeed,
- students who manage their own feelings well and deal effectively with others are more likely to perform better and
- basically - happy people are more apt to retain information and do so more effectively than dissatisfied people.
Building one's Emotional Intelligence has a lifelong impact.
Many parents and educators, alarmed by increasing levels of conflict in young schoolchildren--from low self-esteem to early drug and alcohol use to depression, are rushing to teach students the skills necessary for Emotional Intelligence.
Some easy suggestions to acquire effective emotional competency.....
1. Become emotionally literate.
Label your feelings, rather than labeling people or situations.
"I feel impatient." vs "This is ridiculous.
" I feel hurt and bitter". vs. "You are an insensitive jerk."
"I feel afraid." vs. "You are driving like a idiot."
2. Distinguish between thoughts and feelings.
Thoughts: I feel like...& I feel as if....
Feelings: I feel: (feeling word)
3. Take more responsibility for your feelings.
"I feel jealous." vs. "You are making me jealous."
4. Use your feelings to help them make decisions.
"How will I feel if I do this?"
"How will I feel if I don't ?"
5. Show respect for other people's feelings.
Ask "How will you feel if I do this?" "How will you feel if I don't."
6. Feel energized, not angry.
Use what others call "anger" to help feel energized to take productive action.
7. Validate other people's feelings.
Show empathy, understanding, and acceptance of other people's feelings.
8. Practice getting a positive value from emotions.
Ask yourself: "How do I feel?" and "What would help me feel better?"
Ask others "How do you feel?" and "What would help you feel better?"
9. Don't advise, command, control, criticize, judge or lecture to others.
Instead, try to just listen with empathy and non-judgment.
10. Avoid people who invalidate you.
While this is not always possible, at least try to spend less time with them, or try not to let them have psychological power over you.
