HUMOR - BAR JOKES

Two old Irishmen were at the local pub, reminiscing and drinking as they were wont to do, when one became quite melancholy and asked his friend, "Sean, when my time comes and I passion, can ye do me a favor?"
His friend replies, "Liam, you've been my friend for nigh on thirty years...just ask and I'll do it for you. What would you like me to do?"
The first one said, "Sean, on me mantelpiece at home is an old, old bottle of fine Irish whiskey. When they bury me, would you be mindin' it if ye poured it over me grave?"
And the second one gravely replies, "Liam, you know I'll be honored to do as you ask, but I'm wonderin', would you mind if I passed it through me kidneys first?"
********
A tramp walked into a pub called the "George and the Dragon." He asked the woman serving behind the bar if he could have any food. The woman took one look at his shabby, dirty clothes.
"No!" she shouted.
"Could I have a pint of beer?"
"Certainly not!" she shouted.
"Could I at least use your toilet?"
"No chance!" she shouted again.
"Might I please ...?"
"What now?" the woman screeched, not allowing him to finish.
"Well, do you suppose," he asked, "I might have a word with George?"
***********